糗事二OO七.........
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<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">10</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、妇女进步奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">今天，老婆逛街归来</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">,</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">进屋就嚷开了：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">这日子没法过了，咱俩死了得了，这两个死钱</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">不吃不喝还能撑到月底？除了工资外，没有不涨的东西，买了五块钱的猪肉，炖点酸</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">菜还不够你一个人造的。明天赶快回你妈家，多拿点白菜土豆回来，好坚持一下。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">顺</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">手掏出一包卫生巾扔到桌上，说了一句让我震惊的话：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">再他妈的涨，这月经都来不起</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">了。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P></DIV>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">9</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、最佳音响奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">那天路过一路口，有放屁的欲望，正好有一个人在蹬摩托，我就想借此
机会掩盖自己</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">的屁声，哪知道声音过大，那蹬摩托的人以为发动开了，挂上档就要走，那次我糗大</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">了</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">......</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">8</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、手机商特别奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我的一个朋友，新买了个手机。结果上公共厕所的时候不小心把手机掉到便坑里去</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">了。不幸之中的万幸是便坑里面的东西很粘稠，手机没有没到里面去。正当他准备找</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">东西捞手机的时候，有人给他打电话！恰巧他的手机又调的是震动，眼看着手机振颤</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">着、慢慢的，消失在了粘稠的、深深的便坑里</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">......</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">7</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">IT</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">年度奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">修理电脑时，一口痰吐到了主机箱里，结果电脑弹出发现新硬件</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">~</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">6</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、中文文学奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">办公室三人，二男一女，大男</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">45</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">岁，小男</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">21</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">岁，女</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">30</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">岁。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">三人之间没有竞争，所以关系融洽，相处得宜。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">某日，女的上调，从这个办公室搬出去了，庆贺酒宴上，大男祝酒后，质问女人：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">你</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">为什么要抛夫弃子？</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">，</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">抛夫弃子</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">引得全桌人哄堂大笑。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">又一日，小男也上调了，庆贺酒宴上，先走的那女人的丈夫，酸酸地问大男：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">听说上</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">次酒宴上，先生语出惊人，这回有什么好说的？</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">大男愣一愣，说：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">还有什么好说的，俺奋斗半生，只落得如今妻离子散！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">5</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、生物和谐奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">重庆以前有个经典地名，叫做人和，取的</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">天时、地利、人和</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">的意思</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">那边有个单位，挂的招牌很无敌</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">人和瘦肉型猪配种场</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">4</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、最佳阅读奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">去华师大后门吃烧烤</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">烧烤摊前有一广告上书三行大字：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">烤</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">牛肉串</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">鸡腿</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">鸡心</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">偶旁边一<SPAN lang=EN-US>NB</SPAN>的<SPAN lang=EN-US>MM</SPAN>很大声的读到：烤牛鸡鸡</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">3</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、最佳服务奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">一天，我和表哥去赶公交车，好不容易等来一辆，可车上的人太多了，前门根本就挤</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">不上。我们只好在前门刷了卡，从后门上车，可车上的人实在太多，后门也挤不上。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">于是，司机大哥就和我们商量：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我先发动车，慢点开，你们跟在车后面跑跑。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我和表哥这个纳闷：这算什么办法啊？可也没有办法，只有跟在车屁股后面跑。眼看</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">车开出大概有十来米，忽然一个急刹车，车上的乘客把持不住身体，全部倒向车的前</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">面去了，后门一下子腾出好大一块地方。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">这时，司机大哥得意地招呼我们：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">快上，快上</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">……”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">2</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、最强爱心奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我在公交车里听到别人打电话到电台点歌，有一个男人打电话进去说：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我是外地</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">人，现在回家的车票买不到了，只好在
北京过年了。我想点首歌。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">主持人问他：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">你想点歌送给谁？</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我当时还想这还用问，肯定是远方的父母亲人了，谁知道他却回答说：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我想点一首陈</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">小春的《算你狠》，送给北京站所有工作人员以及所有票贩子！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=宋体 size=3><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"><o:p> </o:p></SPAN></FONT></P>
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"><FONT face=宋体 size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">1</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">、
年度大奖</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我当年在川大时，有一回和宿舍的老六在校园里闲逛，边走边喝易拉罐的百事可</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">乐，看见一果皮箱我俩打赌，看谁站得最远还能投进，输得晚上请客。本人出手就</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">中，到老六他专门站的更远，使出吃奶劲儿一扔，扔中果皮箱的顶部，叭！一声巨响</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">易拉罐蘸起老高没进，正好有一女生从那经过，老六的罐没喝干净，那可乐溅在那女</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">生脸上了。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">开始，我和老六赶忙向她道歉，可那妞儿得理不让人，一个劲的骂人，老六火了和她</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">对骂起来，我长那么大还头次看见，俩人一直对骂还不带停，对骂了大概一个多钟</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">头，突然那女生指着自己的脸说：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">你行？你有本事把它给我舔干净！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">我和老六都还没反映过来，老六还颇不情愿，那女生接着说：“你枉子还是男人！”老</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">六一下火了，一把抱过她，搬过她的头，自己头凑过去，伸出舌头两下就舔完了！老</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">六还对那女生说：</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">好了！完了！哼！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">老六转个身来，看见我瞠目结舌的样子，一下我们俩都大笑起来，那女生也回过神</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">来，蹲在地上大哭，看情形不妙，我俩赶快给人家说好话、赔不是，后来她是怎么不</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">哭我记不得了，当晚，老六还请那女生和我的客，晚上老六还送那女生回宿舍，几天</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">后那女生成了老六的女友，我们宿舍最早谈恋爱的！</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">后来我问那丫头当时情景，她说当时她骂晕了，才闹出得大
笑话。不过，她觉得老六</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">不错，也就将错就错。从老六那事儿以后，我们宿舍凡是问谈恋爱有无亲密举动，都</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <BR></SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">问</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">“</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">舔了没</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=2><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma">”</SPAN></FONT><FONT size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt">。</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Tahoma size=1><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; FONT-FAMILY: Tahoma"> <SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p></o:p></SPAN></SPAN></FONT></P></DIV>
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